this is why im a fucking dumbass

so im on adam4adam, cuz i tell people im looking for a boyfriend when all anyone really uses that for is hookups, lets be real. and i couldnt sleep tonight, and this guy comes up, who looks pretty decent and can hold a conversation, so i said id stop by. at first glance of this picture on his profile....

he looks normal, somewhat attractive, all that. i however didnt notice the holes in the ceiling behind him, and fact that the blurriness and the lighting of this picture was concealing a hideous person lol. sorry not trying to be mean but whatever. so i walk up and hes standing outside his rrreeallly crappy house in this awful area of town, and we walk in, and his conversation skills are at about a zero on a 0-10 scale. like so little that i think hes foreign. cuz he looked kinda eastern europeany in person. anyway, i walk through his house, this decrepit 1950s style townhouse thats just gone to shit. and the smell. oh my god that smell. it was like old dirty laundry, soup and that smell that comes with a house of that level of uncleanliness, you know what im talking about. so we get up to his room and theres a huge hole in the ceiling with insulation falling into his room hes kicked to one wall. and the smell didnt go away. now i can see him in the light, and his skin complexion looked like that of bread they serve you at restaurants with all the criggly bits. he legit looked like that guy from family guy, the episode where peter runs for school board president and he keeps yelling because he keeps looking at that one guy whos so hideous. anyway, i immediately go into 'fake emergency text' mode and didnt even like this guy enough to think up a good excuse. i just said my mom wants me home, because whats he gonna say? nothing. hes hardly said a word the whole time. so hes like 'yo can i just suck you off before you go?' and i go 'sorry i gotta go home right now.'

so he keeps texting me 'what scared u away?' and im tempted to just tell him the truth lol. but i was nice and just said my mom wanted me home sorry.


this isnt the first time this shit happened to me, and its mainly my fault for being so social and meeting people based on a picture and a few emails lol. and its mainly social, im being honest, i really dont like going over to someones house and immediately taking off my clothes, banging, and leaving. i like to talk, drink a little, maybe watch a movie and see where things go. idk.

im moving to rhode island next week anyway, so new chapter, fresh start, all that nonsense. yay,wee.

bahhh vol. 2

ok legit? what the fucking fuck. im kinda drunk, but i really dont give a shit. that guy who im roomming with who i liked and we hooked up and all that shit... shit hasnt resolved. like... alright idk if i put this in my last blog or not, but we were on the couch watching something on my computer without my best friend being home yet, and he put his arm around me and we cuddled until he heard the door open and he flung his arm off me and spaced himself away from me on the couch. uhhh... k? like are you ashamed that you're cuddling with me? are you worried that my best friend still has feelings for me? are you just socially retarded? or are you a psychopath who likes fucking with my mind and my emotions? i tried to bring this whole ordeal up with him and he wasnt having any of it. then tonight he was all "mehh im not drunk enough, but when im drunk i make bad decisions." oh like when you got with me that one night? but then thatd rule out the morning after when we cuddled and made out for a fucking hour, then that other time. look i know im making a big deal out of this, but its pissing me off because i have to see him every single day and fake interact with him and be as cordial and non attitudy as i can. UGHHH what the fucking hell. and he claims hes allergic to the cat, which is fine whatever. but when the other roommate is home, the door to his room is open. but when hes not, he makes a point of having it shut everytime hes in there. like closing himself off to interacting with me. at least be friendly with me? idk this is fucked up. im just pissed and drunk and ill regret putting this up tomorrow but whatever.

TITS.